How do we listen to the sound of another persons life?

That’s what I discover going to see Milton and Doris last night. Before I was trying to tell stories. But the stories that are more interesting are those that reveal themselves to the camera. That is Documentary. It is a challenge. It feels invasive sometimes. But it is a meditation on moments that exist—partially due to the camera, and yet always from the core of the person. What is the balance between the person and the performer? That is the story—the space in between the person off camera and the person on camera. I wonder if this is why actors are like gods? But being a character and being oneself is much different. There is a certain pressure to presenting oneself. Self imposed of course—but the more beautiful of means—

So what is taking care of myself? To sleep long enough? I wonder if all of that post wake sleeping processing was beneficial? It felt very good. Very good. And here is the battle—is taking care of ourselves always about going towards the good? What feels the best in that moment?
This is actually not Hedonism. Because drinking, (other than sake) never is what will feel best to me—a glass of wine perhaps calls out on specific occasions. But drugs not. Usually I am moved towards the positive action. I don’t like to rely on the word “positive” though. It is a weak, misused word.

Action towards a mystery or a question that is living inside of me. Action towards illumination of obscurity. What word can possibly say this? It is like—there is a fear, a question, a doubt, a desire. Action, a movement, or a sitting still, contemplating this thing, it feels like a shuttle ride towards my own destiny. It does. I feel as if the world is spinning past me—that I am going forward toward myself, towards becoming. Not that I am anything in particular, but that I am a movement, or a settling into consciousness, into being, and when the attention of my senses, the movement of my physical body is in congruence with this being, then I feel alive. And this is taking care of oneself.

Moreover I wonder how I could adopt each guides passion towards filming them. Or the previous guides passion upon them? No. Show each person according to their own process- their story. See how congruent it is with their reality.